Why I LOVE to write

It's my new passion, it is. Sitting down every morning for about an hour to write. Why do I love it so much? What is fueling this drive to put words together to make stories out of the thin air?

Power. Imagination. Fun.

I find it so incredibly powerful to dive into a world and watch it unfold. I learned this morning that I am a 'pantser' as opposed to a 'plotter.' The former writes by the seat of her pants, and that is what I do.

Is that what I'll always do, don't know. I'm finding my plot a bit sticky right now, so perhaps in the future I'll turn to plotting. But for now, I let the characters drive the story, sometimes totally surprised by their choices. Ultimately, I can tell them NO! If I want to, but most of the time they know what's best.

My imagination is tested, flexed, and happy. It has the opportunity to get out there and do something instead of sitting between my ears imagining shit about my own future. It would much rather be set free to ponder the next chapter than worry about bills, dinner or car problems.

Fun. Fun. Fun. Til Daddy takes the t-bird away. What the hell does that mean anyway? Well, whatever. No matter. Writing is fucking fun. I had to add a fucking to show how very much fun I feel it is. It's not just fun fun. It's fuu-cking fun. Like more fun than riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. (Never done it, but sounded fun.) More fun than hoola hooping on top of Mount Everest. (Never done that either, but sounds uber fun.)

So, that's it. Enough out of me. I'm going to write now.

Throwing up a Fist in the Face of the Block

Writer's block?

Write anyway.

That's the best advice I found while searching around online to figure out what to do next. I'm 55,000 words into book two of the Clementine series and I hit a wall. Felt like I have a jumble fuck of characters and it feels like it's going to take a miracle for it to all come together.

This life is a miracle and things happen daily that are miraculous, so will it be a miracle? Yes. But I believe miracles happen. The fact that I am writing my SECOND novel is, in itself, an absolutely fabulous divine happening.

Update on personal life after silly sleepless rant: All is well. Bunky and I are moving, which is exciting. We found the PERFECT place! I am loving my job teaching lately, starting to teach a theater class next week. Simple happiness is surrounding me and I'm embracing it.

Enough out of me, must pack.

Sleep? HA!

Can't sleep.

Toss. Turn.

Sleepytime Tea.

Fret about the future.

Listen to the hamster running on her wheel. Feel a whole lot like her.

Make another cup of tea.

Chat with old friends on facebook

Wonder what went wrong, why I can't sleep, why I cry too much, why I'm not enjoying my job. Where is my career going, where am I going, where are we going to move, how are we going to afford it, will I ever get published, will I ever get this new cd finished... will i have a baby? will the hamster ever stop running? will my brain ever slow down? how many cups of tea will it take?

Writing History

Surfing around the internet, peeking around at blogs and sites of writers, I keep seeing the question - Did you always know you wanted to be a writer? - and I wanted to dive into this for myself.

Did I?

No. Deffffffinitely NOT.

Up until a few years ago, I could not FATHOM the idea of stringing together more than a few paragraphs, let alone several chapters to make a WHOLE STORY?!!? Writing papers was always fun in school, but it was ultimately super effortful.

But when I think about my first childhood fetish, it all begins to make sense! I was ADDICTED to collecting ERASERS! I know it's strange, but I loved these suckers. In every shape, size, color...tiny little high heels made of rubber, smiley faces, glow in the dark, pencil-toppers, huge ice cream cones...the BEST things ever! Some of them smelled AMAZING too!

Next fetish was school supplies. Mechanical pencils. Mechanical fuckin pencils. Drool. What about those pens with the four different colors all in one?!!? Do you remember that?! Ah. mazing. A good ball point? Like butter. Markers, sharpies, little pens, ultra big ones. Obsessed.

Then I got into poetry and music and writing in that vein. It was a slow progression. Starting with my first band in college, then poetry slamming in Orlando, and eventually producing six full length original cds.

It was in Boone, North Carolina where the novel writing magic really unfolded. Scratch that. It was in New Orleans, when I was on the road. I was staying in this nasty hotel and it was late, and I was all alone. My imagination was getting the best of me, so I decided to turn it on itself. I broke out my laptop and started typing. Clementine was born.

Now I can see myself writing many, many novels in the years to come. I get so much joy watching characters unfold in front of me, surprising me at every turn. My favorite new quote is:

"Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way."E.L. Doctorow

I LOVE THAT!!!!

If you think you can write, you can. I believe in you! And if I can do it, anyone can!!

Weeew Heeeew!

For all of you who have been following my journey with Clementine, I must give you the greatest of all news so far with this adventure:

A very cool agent asked to read my full manuscript!!! This is just one of many steps in getting published, but it's an important one, and should be celebrated. Even if she ultimately rejects the book.

AND.

I am 40,000 words into book took, roughly halfway through. This book has been so exciting to write. The ritual has been: wake up, walk thirty minutes with NO music...letting the imagination run wild about the story, come home, brew coffee, shower, sit and write for NO LESS than one hour. It's a dream.

I love writing, and I love life. Just got back from GOOD VIBRATIONS in San Diego and that was a complete blast. I love unschoolers!!!!

Chaos Theory

Do you think it's all chaos? Not me. There's a definite order to things.

They seem so messy and random, but eventually the pieces fit together so perfectly it's mind-bending. Remember rubix cubes? Did you ever just sit and turn the sides over and over again and all of a sudden there was a completed side? That's how I feel about life sometimes.

Keep turning and turning and it will click.

So many wonderful things going on right now for me. I've committed to an hour every morning with Clementine. We are having a ball - 100 pages into book two. Still querying - nothing yet. Key word: YET. I know it will happen.

I'm so lucky to have Jake Ohman working on some drawings of Clem for the cover. Just fabulous.

Also, I've officially started a choir - the INSPIRE CHOIR of the Boca Raton Center for Spiritual Living. We are singing all original hurhs (my version of hymns). They are simple, melodic treats full of positivity and light. We have our first performance Sunday.

I have my second intervew with a music academy tomorrow to teach Musical Theater, Piano, Voice and some Guitar to students, which will be great for me. I've had a ton of free time on my hands and I want to have a full, busy life.

Finally, I've secured a college booking agent, which means I'm finally going to be making some money doing what I love! She is going to conferences next week, so cross your fingers that I book and book and book!

Bunky (Brad my love) and I are doing great - we are in the middle of Battlestar Galactica - LOVING IT. We are loosely planning for a February wedding, but more details on that to come.

All in all life is really good. Keeping active with morning walks, daily prayer and lots of good family time. My mom and I have gotten really close with me living down the street from her, so that's been awesome.

Babbling on....

Amy

Rejections

Why does it hurt so much to be rejected?

Not just literarily, but literally.

I mean, receiving an email from an agent telling you that your book isn't quite what they need/want at this time isn't so terrible. But rejection from friends and loved ones. That's unbearable.

Recently, I was trying to help a friend. She was quite upset and so I put my two cents in and tried to soothe her with empathy. She outright insulted me and rejected me! OUCH!

Sometimes we are hurting and we hurt others. I get that. But why can't I see it for what it is and not take it so PERSONALLY!?

As far as Clementine, I have received four rejections from my queries so far. And it just feels like part of the process. I still believe in her very much.

Write on.

On the write again...

Wow,

It's been quite some time since I've blogged. Facebook sort of took over my life when it comes to this sort of thing, but it's important to keep this thing up, especially when it comes to Clementine.

I put her away for awhile because I was getting so many rejections, I thought she needed a rest. I also had to take some time to move back down to Florida from the mountains and was working hard on my one woman show through the winter.

Spring had me falling in love with Brad. We are engaged and he is my dear heart. We are past the furious love stage and so now I can re-focus on the writing and get down to work.

I've joined the www.querytracker.com site and am now submitting queries again to agents. If I am unable to find an agent within the next few months I am definitely going to self-publish her. She is too wonderful to keep to myself! I love her and want to share her with you!