Feeling Beautiful

I feel beautiful.

I don't feel skinny or young or in shape. But I feel beautiful.

I know I am beautiful. I look in the mirror and I say "I am glad to be you today." This, of course, implies that I am more than this body and it is a privilege to inhabit these bones and muscles and to get to view this magical world through these eyes and this brain.

I'm writing about this because a post on fb I read this morning reminded me of how I used to believe whatever YOU believed about me to be true. The post said something like " my friend told me I was a six and I think he's right." I am paraphrasing, but the essence was that she was 'rated' on a scale of one to ten and basically agreed of her 'imperfect' number, etc...

So many things about this got me thinking.

Of course, it is hard to be told something obviously hurtful and not be hurt. But if you told me I was a bird or a plane, it would be easy for me to prove to myself I am not a bird or a plane. I know in the depth of my being I am not a bird or a plane. I am human. Duh.

But call me a 'Six'  and you hit every nerve of low self-worth and low self-esteem, every time I have compared myself to magazine beauty. It might be a bit tougher to remember the truth of who I am. I am a perfect ME. Right now. Right here. At this weight, age, height, wisdom.

It truly is an inside job. Today, I felt suddenly aware that while I love you, I don't really give a shit if you think I am beautiful or smart or good enough. Because I am sure of these things about myself today. Maybe it is something that happens as i've gotten older. Life becomes more precious, and there is less time to waste on your opinion of me.

You are beautiful, but don't take it from me because it doesn't matter what I think.

Inward ho,

Amy

Sweet Freedom!

Well it has been quite an interesting month.

Decided NOT to go to Chicago after all, following a profound conversation with my would-be boss, the delightful Lola Wright. She offered me the opportunity to consider what it might feel like NOT to go. And , quite honestly, I hadn't even conSIDered that!

When I did, I found myself overwhelmed with relief and a feeling of peace and freedom. I realized that my life in Charlotte is perfection, my Spiritual Center in Charlotte is my heart, my friends here are remarkable, the travel time to family is easy, and it is BEAUTIFUL in Charlotte most of the year.

Sweeet Freeeeeedom!

To back out, walk away, say NO, tune in to what I truly desire! What bliss!

Perfect for this time of year.

It is Passover and Easter and Spring! Time to get free!

I did some intense meditation around my life purpose recently and came up with the notion that I am no longer in any way okay with the feeling of desperation. However, I can see where desperation has served me quite well in the past. It was, you see, the gift of desperation that brought me to my spitritual path which has ultimately led me to joy, peace and freedom.

But I am growing into a place of self-trust. This means really listening to those gut feelings, which I really have never trusted before. I can now. I am ready to be true to myself. For a very long time I have had to seek outside help and I still do at times, but for the BIG decisions, All I need is to tune in to my Higher Self and listen.

And so I say, free yourslf from bondage. Rise up. Break out. What is it that you really want to do? It may hurt others. It may disappoint. Perhaps it will feel really weird. Just do it. You have THIS MOMENT. It is divine, precious, and not to be wasted.

Happy holidays!

To freedom, resurrection, and blooming,

Amy