doing reps

What a day.

I'm sure it's bound to get better.

I've noticed that the universe tends to balance itself out. The teeter-totter of experience is always swaying back and forth, back and forth.

As I've mentioned here, the past few days have been adrenaline-filled celebrations. I got three requests for pages! I sent out the stuff, and we'll soon get feedback.

Today.

Got in a fight with my ex.

That kind of fight where afterwards you are crying so hard you are moaning in your car, speeding past people, on your way to get the rest of your shit from the fuckin trailer already.

The kind of fight that leaves you wondering why, why, why me? Why did that cop have to stop me and give me 150$ ticket. Damn pigs.

"You don't even know the headache you've given me," I said to the blonde-haired blue-eyed copper.

That fight that leaves you with a carload of crap that you kept in the closet for a REASON. Crap that is in boxes that you can't bring yourself to throw away. Reviews, pictures, tax junk, journals and more journals. So there you are in your apartment, staring through memories, listening to the blues.

But the day's poopiness didn't end there. I received a personalized rejection through email (not one of the three previously mentioned) where the agent said the first pages didn't "pull her in like she had hoped." So I crushed this agents hopes with my shitty first pages.

Self-esteem!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHhh! Where are you going!>!!> It's just one rejection. There are many more to come!!!!!!!! Do some push-ups!

I can write
I CAN write
I am a writer
I DO write

three more times now!

I can
I do
I will
I will
I am.

Thank goddess for girlfriends who come over and bring Chinese food. We are going to watch the Clinton/Obama debate and for a second I am going to stop thinking about my book, and my career, and my ex.

PHEW! I feel better now.